A toast to my first Mother’s Day

“Make your life work for you — you can have a fulfilling career and be an amazing mother,”

J Michele Buck, President and CEO of The Hershey Company

IAM writing this in the middle of a rare moment of quiet in our house. My five-month-old son, Balthazar, is peacefully asleep beside me and his dad, my husband, is done with work. The flurry of video calls, emails, and group messages has slowed down even just for the night, and I find myself enjoying the inJbetween, the stillness, and basking in gratitude for all that was, all that is, and all that will be.

When I first found out that I was pregnant, I panicked. I was not only worried about our health considerJ ing that we had to brave doctor’s appointments and eventually labor in the midst of a global pandemic, but I was mostly fearful if I had what it takes to be a mother.

As a child, I was not one to dream of being a wife and a mother. Instead, I was busy planning out my career and the next steps I could take so my profesJ sional life always kept moving forward. Women are often told they couldn’t have both so they might as well choose.

Oddly enough, when I learned I was pregnant, I was out of a stable job for the first time in my life and it felt like my career was in shambles. And yet, despite my initial panic, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I knew that it was the time to let go of my own plans and fully surrender to the plans God had for me. And so in that moment

that I let go of resistance and instead held on to my faith, life shifted.

The arrival of my son changed me and my life completely. Being a mother has not only humbled me but encouraged me to dig deeper into my journey of healing.

It inspired me to fully heal and let go of things that no longer served me and most importantly, his arrival allowed

me to reconnect with family members who I have missed. Everyday, I wake up with joy in my heart knowing that I get to experience another day with my son — truly there is no greater gift than seeing him smile and all the cuddles that we share as a family.

The experience of motherhood also made me realize that I was being lied to this whole time — because women can definitely do it all. We can be both amazing moms and successful in our careers but what it takes is the courage to take a step back, allow ourselves to feel what we feel, and not to hesitate to ask for help. With the help of our family, friends, and lots of prayers, we can be the women that we have always dreamed of being.

Balthazar, I am so humbled that you chose me as your mom. When I see you, I am reminded of how truly faithful God is and how absolutely blessed I am because He brought us together.

Sending some special Mother’s Day love to my mother, the woman who sacrificed it all to raise us; my sisterinJlaw Reena who is the true epitome of a supermom; and my sister, Ro-Anne, who everyday gives her all for her two boys, Ikaia and Azi. You all inspire me to be the best mom that I can be.

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